According to the Bible, forgiveness is the deliberate action of overlooking offense and “keeping no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5). According to psychology, forgiveness is the conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. This definition matches that of Joseph who said, “So have no fear; I myself will provide for you and your little ones.” (Gen. 15:21). Despite their plan to kill him, Joseph bore no vengeance against his brothers, even when he had the power to do so. When we forgive a person, we abandon our urges to see them suffer.
What forgiveness is not.
- Forgiveness is not suppressing or ignoring hurt- We should start by acknowledging that we were We should go further to explicitly state how we were hurt. Pretending that you were not hurt is not forgiveness.
- Forgiveness is not reconciliation– While we should express a friendly attitude and even kindness to those who hurt us, as Joseph did, nothing obliges us to restore the relationship with our The reason for this position is that the individuals may not have changed, and may hurt you again.
- Forgiveness is not freeing an offender from accountability– Just because you forgive someone does not mean that they should not face consequences for their actions. Forgiveness should never be an opportunity to promote impunity or anarchy. For example, someone who assaults you should still face legal repercussions.
- Forgiveness is not forgetting– It is naïve to think that forgiving means erasing the wrongs done to us. As long as you have a memory, you will always remember past actions by others.
- Forgiveness is not rationalizing, downgrading, or excusing offense– The offended should not try to sympathize with the offender. Forgiveness says “This person did this or that inexcusable thing to me, but I will not harbor anger or vengeance against them, whether they apologize or not.”
Why should we forgive?
- It’s expected of us– The bible teaches we’re to forgive The subject is so important that the Bible contains more than 30 verses that discuss forgiveness.
- Forgiving others give us liberty– Nothing good can come from a bitter Unforgiveness is like carrying a heavy and useless load waiting for those who placed it there (your offenders) to remove it; they might never.
- Our overall well-being improves when we forgive– Psychology shows that forgiveness reduces susceptibility to depression, anger, immune response, and cardiovascular diseases; enhances self-confidence, compassion, and hope; and improves social relationships.
What does forgiveness say about us?
- Affirms our identity in Christ– When we forgive others, we fulfill the scriptures that require us to do As a result, we prove that we’re, indeed, identifying with Christ, who also forgave the whole of mankind. In fact, we prove our conformity to the character of Christ, who forgave the world before it even realized its sin.
- Shows our mental strength– Managing to quell the invasive and powerful forces of revenge shows that we are mentally strong. In contrast, revenge shows a mental
How about healing?
I believe that healing means that an offended person does not ruminate about past hurt and proceeds to relate with his/her offenders without referring to past offenses. Healing starts with forgiveness but is mainly God’s work. Being able to relate well again with people who hurt you requires God. Healing is also refusing to have your life’s decision be influenced by the notions or beliefs you formed due to past maltreatment.
